Confessions of a real mom...

I was at the store the other day and heard two moms talking about how they are so perfect and never let their kids get away with anything. I guess I figure life is too short and the kids are only going to be little for so long (yeah, shut up, it's nostalgic mom time, my little baby is turning 3)... so here ya go, in all it's glory... my true confessions:

1. If I didn't see it, it didn't happen - okay, obviously, I'm not talking bodily harm here, but if they are working together to do something that is just in the "naughty" category and don't think I know, I ignore it. I'm secretly happy they are just working together for a common cause - which usually is to thwart us parents - instead of fighting.
2. I bribe my children - with ice cream, a trip to the park, a new toy. Usually it involves them having to be quiet for more than 2 seconds or to help with big project. This also works if *I* want ice cream and can get them to clean their room in the process.
3. Overtime is allowed - we have a 30-60 minute rule for computer or TV time. If they are actually getting along (or if Jamie is helping Cassie with a game, which is really cute!) I've been known to set the timer back a smidge. Again, quiet time is gold.
4. I hate giving them a bath - I know it's supposed to be cute and fun, but they just get water all over me and they scream when it's time to wash hair. So there. I will bribe Tom with just about anything (you want that new light for your computer case??) not to have to bathe the monsters.
5. I make my children do chores - this seems to be a new thing with moms, not making the kids pitch in. But dude, they made the mess and they live here too, they can help take the clothes out of the dryer or help put away the dishes or pick up toys.
6. I laugh when I shouldn't - I have no self-control. When one of them is being completely unreasonable and throwing a tantrum, as much as I try to hide it, I end up with tears streaking down my face from laughing. Yeah, I know, it doesn't help, but it's SO hilarious to see this itty bitty little girl jumping up and down screaming because she has the wrong pillowcase.
7. I cheat - I sometimes make the older one give in to the little one because it's easier. I will also use bribes (see #2) if he'll just give her her way.
   
8. I detest legos - What is with these things? I'm glad Tom likes playing with them with the kids, I hate them!
9. I love to play too - Okay, not really a confession, but I adore being a kid again and coloring or doing a project or getting to play "store" with them.

So, there, perfect mommies of the world... good luck. My kids are monsters, but they are happy little monsters that do behave in public because they know it's expected of them. Maybe they don't go down to bed as easily as they could and maybe they get away with watching too much Dora, but at least I can admit it and know I'm imperfect.