Jamie’s Birthstory
By Candy (his mom!)
Jamie was born by a vaginal delivery at 6:12 PM on October
17, 2000. He weighed 7 lbs 11 ozs
and was 19.5 inches long. He had a
14 inch head.
Warning: This is long and totally
my honest observations of my birth experience, I’m not holding anything back,
so if don’t want to know the low and dirty, don’t read it!
Also, some parts are still pretty sketchy, so I had to have other that
were there fill me in – Who knows, some of it may even be hallucinations!
Jamie was due on October 18, 2000. We decided to induce him on October 17, 2000 per my doctor
due to my hypertension. I checked
into the hospital to have cervadil applied to my cervix at 5:00 PM on October
16, pitocin was to be started the next morning.
The drive to the hospital was really surreal.
We left the house at about 4pm and arrived in L&D around 4:45 and I
was admitted to a second floor LDRP room. The
room was great, we are talking hotel here!
Even had a microwave and refrigerator.
Two nurses came and took down all my vitals and I changed into one of
those dreaded hospital gowns. The
cervadil was actually a lens of a type that was encased in netting that had a
string that hung out. An older
nurse was teaching a new nurse. The
new nurse took 3 tries and could not get it to stay in, so the older nurse did
it with no problems. I was also
told that I was looking good as my cervix had finally turned anterior and I felt
still 50% effaced, so things looked really good the induction would work great. Didn’t sleep that much that night, we had a bad
thunderstorm, nurses came in every 3 hours to check on me.
I took a sleeping pill at midnight and got 3 hours before I woke up to
get my vitals taken, then at 4:00 they let me take a shower.
On Tuesday morning, they started an IV in my arm (after 3 tries and one really
bad bruise on my arm), they found a vein in my wrist – not a big deal, they
always have problems finding veins. She hooked me up to the monitors that go around your waist
and told me that I was already having minor contractions. I didn’t feel anything at that point. The pitocin was started and I felt minor crampiness.
I didn’t even equate them to contractions until the nurse told me “you
are having one now”.
Dr. Binford arrived at 7 am to check on me and found I was a loose 2
centimeters, very ripe, about 50% effaced. She broke my water and I immediately felt the contractions
more strongly. Because we kept
losing the baby’s heartbeat and the contraction monitor they strap to your
belly, I agreed to an internal scalp monitor and a pressure catheter. Basically at this point, I was confined to bed, but could sit
up and change sides as I wanted to. They
require to always be on monitors if you are having pitocin so they can regulate
it. I was also hooked up to a blood
pressure cuff that went off ever 15 to 30 minutes. My contractions were VERY irregular and were coming, on
average every minute to 2 minutes and lasting anywhere from 15 seconds to 90
seconds. I would have three in a
row, then nothing for 2 minutes. It
was intense.
I was constantly offered the epidural and turned it down many many times.
I wanted to experience this as much as I could, but knew with a pitocin
drip, it would be very hard. I have
to stop a moment to say that Tom, my husband was an absolute angel.
I could not have asked for a better labor coach.
We had not really talked about what we were going to do to get through
contractions, but decided we’d do just what felt right at the time.
For HOURS, he stood by my side rubbing/scratching my chanting “breathe
and relax, sweetie, breathe and relax, baby, you are doing great, I’m so proud
of you” over and over and over and over.
He always knew what to say and had just enough soothe to his voice that I
listened to him and didn’t get angry. My
mantra became the word “okay”, it was easy for me to breathe in and out and
say that word to him over and over again. I
was very lucky to have him be so supportive, I know it killed him to see me in
that much pain, but he came through for me in so many ways.
I was checked at 11 and AGAIN offered the epidural, which I refused, but did ask
for IV medication. I was at 4+
centimeters, completely effaced. I was given Stadol. This
stuff is great! I was able to feel
the contractions, but it took the edge off so I got a break through quite a few
of them. The Stadol wore off
at noon, I asked for a second dose, but they didn’t give me anything for
THIRTY minutes. The pain was
intense, but Tom worked me through them. I
also was not allowed to use the toilet and they didn’t catherize me, so Tom,
my angel, helped me with a bedpan several times so I could urinate.
Any man that will do this for his wife without hesitation and then clean
you up afterwards deserves a medal (or at least, in this case, a son!).
The second dose really didn’t have any effect and I stalled out in
labor and stayed at 4 centimeters. At
this point I really wanted something more to help me, I was in bad pain and
nothing we were trying was working, but I deal with pain by stepping outside of
myself. In other words, it was like
I was there, watching, but not feeling anything.
No one said the magic words, “You need an epidural” until Doctor
Binford came in at 1:45 and I readily agreed after admitting I was scared to
death and I really wanted a natural delivery.
Like she told me, at this point, it was working against me and I needed
to do something because the contractions were making me very weak.
The epidural lady AKA the “candy lady” came around 2:00
and this was probably the scariest part of my experience. I HATE needles and I was scared to death of having
anything put in my spine. I had a
great team in that room right then. I
sat on the edge of the bed hunched over a pillow with Tom sitting in front of
me. The best L&D nurse I had,
Peggy, stood with her arm around me and the candy lady was behind me.
They were all very supportive. I
was crying uncontrollably both from the pain of the contractions and being
scared. I was shaking all over and
hyperventilating. Tom at this point, didn’t know what to do, so he just sat
there talking to me as best as he could. Basically
I put my feet on top of his thighs and dug in, he’s probably got bruises.
The epidural went in without too much problem, she did have a problem
finding the right place because I was so upset.
Peggy, the nurse, was WONDERFUL. She
actually broke through my “away from it all” space and got me to slow down
my breathing and calm down a bit.
Once the epidural was in, I was doing pretty good, I felt
pain in my bottom with the contractions, but it felt more like pressure.
It was also awesome because I could still move my legs and everything, it
was like it was asleep (like when you foot falls asleep!).
At one point my belly itched, so I scratched it, but I couldn’t feel
it. It was WILD.
At about 3:40 I started complaining that I felt a lot of pressure/pain in my
bottom. I was checked and found to
be at 7 centimeters. I was told I
would probably deliver around 8pm. At
4:00 PM, I was feeling intense pressure in my rectum and painful pressure with
each contraction in my bottom. She
checked me again and found I was 9-1/2 centimeters!
I am convinced the epidural is what allowed me to relax enough to finish dilating.
I also believe that if I had NOT gotten the epidural, I may have ended up
with a c-section. I felt pressure all through until 4:30 when she checked me
again, I was still at 9-1/2. She
had me push (which felt GREAT) a little and tried to push the cervix all the
rest of the way open, but couldn’t. At
this point, I was in a great deal of pain with each contraction and felt this
unbelievable urge to push. Finally,
at 4:50 I BEGGED for someone to help me, it was truly unbearable. {Note: at this point, I think had had 3 “boosters” to the
epidural IV and they had NO effect on the pain/pressure I was having}.
My delivery nurse, Kathy was great.
I could’ve kissed her. She
basically FORCED my cervix to open to 10 so that we could start pushing.
We started pushing at 5 PM. I
was told I was pushing very effectively. The
baby was at zero station, so we had quite a bit to do. Several times, I wanted to give up and she and Tom were
always there to push me over and over again.
I was exhausted by 6:00 when the doctor came in to “catch”.
Throughout this 13 hour ordeal I repeatedly told them all I was leaving, I
begged Tom to take me home, I told my mother in law (Jennifer) that we were
leaving and coming back later to do this. I
also, according Tom, told just about anyone that came near me to “reach up
there and yank his ass out already”. But
never (except once, which we will get to) did I scream.
I grunted, breathed, talked, whimpered, etc, but did not scream or cuss
at anyone. I’m VERY proud of
myself for this reason alone!
When the doctor came in at 6pm, I had given up.
I told them I wasn’t doing it anymore, I couldn’t, my legs wouldn’t
stay up in the air anymore and I’d pooped several times on the table.
I just couldn’t do it. Doctor
Binford knew that I had wanted as natural of a delivery as I could get, and
reminded me that if I did not push this baby out, she would have to use forceps,
which I was VERY opposed to. She
wasn’t forceful, just very matter-of-factly.
Again, she knew just what to say. I
pushed a few times and they saw the head start to crown (about a ½ dollar I
would assume). Again, I said
I just couldn’t keep my feet in the air.
Thank goodness, someone put up the stirrups (again, I didn’t want
these, but I honestly was just exhausted and am now grateful).
I don’t know where I found the strength, but I pushed and pushed.
The baby crowned, and that was an incredible feeling, I don’t remember
it being as a burning sensation, but just a very intense sensation.
It’s at this point that the doctor saw I could not deliver this baby without
tearing badly. They had been doing perineal
massage and supporting it, but the band of muscle I had just would not give way.
She did a small incision, which I felt and SCREAMED.
No one had realized I FELT all this.
They just thought I was pushing with the pressure.
I actually FELT it. Dr.
Binford freaked out a little bit and wanted to know why no one realized I could
feel all this, I guess I wasn’t screaming like a banshee, just grunting loudly
so everyone thought I didn’t feel it all.
Anyway, she apologized a million times (Tom wanted to deck her I found
out later because he thought she knew). Anyway,
it wasn’t a big deal, she gave me a local needle down there in several places
and did an episiotomies. From what
I can gather, it’s extremely rare for the epidural to NOT take in your bottom
and I wasn’t “acting” like it was hurting like it was.
I felt the baby’s head come out. This was amazing feeling, I don’t even know how to begin to
describe it. I looked at Tom and he
was bawling. I found out later that
they told him to look and when he did, the baby’s head was hanging out and
looking directly at him. He lost
it. Jamie had his cord wrapped
around his neck twice loosely. They
unhooked him and I pushed his shoulders out.
The next part is the part that made me cry uncontrollably and, to be
honest, still does. The
feeling of the baby’s body leaving mine was intense.
It is probably the most emotional physical feeling I’ve ever felt in my
life. The only way I know to explain it is that it was like a wet
rubber glove being eased out. It
was totally amazing. I would not
have wanted to miss that for anything in the world.
I wish I could explain it better, but I can’t.
Tom cut the cord and the baby was placed on my chest for a
split second before they took him away. His
color wasn’t good. His apgars
were only 6 immediately after birth. His
temperature was 102 (mine was 100), his hands and feet were blue and he wasn’t
responsive enough for them. He was
kept in the room in a warmer where two nurses were working over him and they
called down the nursery nurse to come immediately.
His 5 minute apgars were 8-1/2. His
temperature went down and his coloring was a little better, but he was ashy.
I gave a push to get the placenta out (I barely remember
this, but remember that all of a sudden I felt like I had to push again!)
In the middle of all this, we hear my doctor exclaim that there was “a
lot” of blood here. I was hemorrhaging,
my uterus was not clamping back down. She
reached her hand WAY back into me and I guess checked things out.
I was given a hemo(something) shot in my thigh and the pitocin was turned
on again to make my contract.
I was trying to get Tom to go to the baby, but I knew once
he saw I was bleeding badly he wouldn’t do it, so I was trying to get Jennifer
(my mother in law) to. But, I was
in a state of shock I think at this point and couldn’t say anything except to
ask how the baby was occasionally. Thankfully,
Jennifer went over and was standing there while the worked on him.
He was given oxygen, again, his apgars came up to 8-1/2, so I guess
whatever they did worked. While
they sewed me up and got me all fixed up down there (I had a second degree
episiotomy), I didn’t even know what was going on, I was so fixated on what
was going on with Jamie. All of a
sudden I felt a needle go through my skin down there and yelped a little.
Again, everyone was stunned I could still feel stuff down there, so I was
given another 2 needles.
I think I kind of blanked out something because the next
thing I remember is Tom coming to me with the baby and everyone leaving (at some
point, I was sat up, cleaned up a bit, the room cleaned a bit, etc). except him,
me and his mom. I spent what seemed
like an eternity looking into his eyes and falling completely in love with him.
He just looked back at me and I talked to him and told him how much we
loved him and anything silly that came into my head.
I think Tom was overcome and decided to make phone calls to everyone, so
he and his mom hit the cell phones while I tried to breastfeed.
At this point, Jamie was getting sleepy, so it wasn’t very successful,
but he did latch on and sucked a little bit, we had to rub his head with a cold
rag constantly, but we did try.
He was taken to the nursery, Tom went with him where they
drew his blood and did tests on him (his white blood count was extremely high).
I was assisted by a recovery nurse who helped me to the toilet and told
me about all kinds of fun things I would learn to use.
I was then moved to a postpartum room on the seventh floor (which was
TINY and not near as nice as the LDRP room!).
I was away from Jamie for what seemed like hours and was getting very
upset and worried because no one told me what was going on.
Jennifer, thank goodness for her!, she went and got me something from
McDonald’s (did I mention, I hadn’t eaten since dinner the night before?) at
around 9:30 PM and she left. Tom
and baby came back around 10:00 or 10:30 and we ate.
Tom was GREAT while I was recovering over the next 2 days, he helped me around,
calmed Jamie down, even refilled my beloved peri squirt bottle (I think if Tom
& I ever break up, I’m going to marry it!), along with other assorted
disgusting things that needed to be done. He
is in complete love with Jamie. It
amazes me! The baby is doing GREAT, his blood work all came back fine,
he’s got SLIGHT jaundice now (not a lick when he was born) and were told to
keep an eye on it, but other than that, he’s perfect!
I’m doing okay. My
stitches hurt a little and my muscles are SORE – they have me on some really
nice drugs though.
Breastfeeding is going REALLY well. I
hope my milk comes in soon. I was
impressed that Jamie only lost 2 oz before were discharged, so it looks like he’s
getting plenty of colostrum from me. He
latches on good, my breasts aren’t sore at all yet, etc.
No one in my family breastfed, so I hope I can do it, we are just doing
it one day at a time and every day takes a day closer and closer, so that’s
the way I’m looking at it.
A lot of people think I didn’t get the birth experience I wanted, but I think
I got something better. I got to
experience it all. I got to
experience natural labor until I had the Stadol, I got the experience the
epidural, but most of all and what I really wanted out of this whole thing was I
got to feel the baby leave my body. That
was the most empowering overwhelmingly emotional thing I’ve ever felt.
It felt ‘real’ and it felt great.
As a side note, I’ve not had heartburn AT ALL since our hairy little Jamie
came out to play. I’m also amazed
at how my body responds to him. When
he cries or I just think of him I feel a tingling in my breasts and a discharge
from my uterus contracting. This is
even stronger when he’s nursing. It’s
an amazing feeling and one I don’t ever want to forget.
Sorry this got so long, I wanted to put as many details as I could.
My mother in law, Jennifer, was there for the birth from about 10:00 on.
I know she helped in that she would take over for Tom and she also kept
me in supply of wet rags, but I also know that we had several other people
around that I don’t know about either that helped.
Tom was the voice I concentrated on, and I guess he was my “focal”
point. It’s weird how that
happened.
In closing, I want to say that I’m very proud of my husband.
He stood by me and did whatever he could to keep me going when I wanted
to quit. He wasn’t totally sure
about the natural part, but he was a trooper and brags to anyone who will listen
about it – including the Subway lady when he went to get dinner today!
He has been an awesome Daddy. In
fact, while I’m sitting here typing this, he’s giving me a break and
entertaining Jamie. I needed a
break. I think this is the first
time he’s had to try to calm him down by himself and right now, Jamie seems to
be cooing over there.
A big thank you to
Tom, Jennifer, Doctor Binford and the WONDERFUL staff at Seton Medical Center.
This page
was last updated at Sunday, May 16, 2004
at 01:56:44 AM
